A style blog for the fashionably, socially and financially conscious.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Johnny Dangerously and the Plight of the Fat Wallet.


Picture it: You step out of the house lookin', feelin', like a million bucks. Pants pressed and fitted; shirt tucked, tie straight. Confidence abound, you board the train and do the gentlemanly thing by letting the lady take the last seat. She thanks you and smiles. You catch her eye a few more times, she smiles coyly. You play it cool and turn your back to her briefly. Her eyes widen, she stifles a giggle, maybe even a gasp. Baby, she's not admiring your sweet derrière.
Your backside is where she's looking, but her giggles and pointing are not about how sexy your ass looks in those navy blue Ferragamo flat fronts... Trust me. She's only trying to figure out what the hell is in your back pocket and why.

Fellas, I'm sorry. This is not, nor has it ever been a good look. Beauty is about symmetry. And a lumpy butt, is NOT balanced.

The fashion magazines got it down... Looking cool has NEVER been easier.
Trends are simple and all about what make you look and feel good. And fellas, this goes doubly true for you. I understand being comfortable and I understand needing (necessary) things handy, but cramming your wallet, stuffed to the gills with old credit card receipts, business cards and expired condoms, into your back pocket is sooooo 80's. And just plain UN-sexy.
Your options for a more stylish, not to mention slimmer look, are BEYOND plentiful.

The "man bag" joke is so passè. The messenger bag and its stereotypes, have come a long way since the days of Joey Tribbiani and the "man bag" episode. These days, carrying a bag is not only convenient, but a stylish way to avoid lumpy butt. They come in all shapes, sizes and styles and convert easily from office to gym to home, with minimal issue.




Here are some great casual versions for fall:





A slightly dressier messenger for work (and play):

Okay, so you've looked through the bags found one you liked, but your buddies have threatened to revoke your man card, or maybe you just can't bring yourself to man up and throw down the cash for a bag just yet. Fine. We can address this issue again another day. But on behalf of all the stylish women of the world, who prefer to associate with men who are sexy, clean and balanced (inside and out), please for the love of all things expensive (like your $260 Diesel Jeans), can we compromise? Pretty please?

How about a wallet slim down...?:


Inexpensive. Convenient. SLIM.



So you can avoid looking like this:





And start looking more like this:

















"It’s one sure way a woman can tell if a guy is straight... No gay man would ever deliberately put a lump on his butt.” --Isaac Mizrahi

1 comment:

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